Woman Says People Who Want To Start Families Need To Plan Better — 'The Village Is No Longer Free'
The common phrase "It takes a village" is often told to parents as a reminder that the responsibility of raising and nurturing a child doesn't have to fall on their shoulders but on the community around them. However, one mom, Chance? Hindirlane, explained why we should start advising mothers that the "village" isn't always going to be free.
She claimed that women should start preparing both financially and personally before starting families.
Hindirlane's video stitched that of another creator on the app, who urged people to stop telling moms "it takes a village" when they may not have anyone to help them out. In response, Hindirlane, a mother of four, expanded on that opinion and claimed that we need to start advising mothers that a village isn't always free.
"What we need to do is start telling mothers the village is no longer free," Hindirlane began in her video. "We need to start telling future mothers to financially plan ahead for their village."
She continued, saying that women who have the desire to be mothers should start planning ahead for many childcare services, including a nanny, a housekeeper, meal prep services, and postpartum care since the cost of many of these resources is rising exponentially.
According to a report from Child Care Aware, in 2020, the average cost of child care was over $10,000 a year. In 2021, childcare costs rose by an average of 5% from the previous year, per the network's survey data. For many families in this country, childcare is just as or even more expensive than the price of housing and health insurance.
“It’s difficult to try to cobble together all these different child-care solutions just so that they can keep working for the same paycheck when everything is getting so expensive,” Child Care Aware senior data analyst Kristina Haynie told CNBC. ”[It’s putting child care] just that much more out of reach.”
She also advised women to start picking their partners more carefully to avoid taking on most of the household labor.
According to data acquired by the Pew Research Center, a majority of women, 59%, say they do more household chores than their spouse or partners. When it comes to childcare, women often see themselves carrying a heavier burden than their partners.
About 74% of mothers say they do more to manage their children’s schedules and activities than their spouse or partner; while only 3% say their husband or partner does more of this. Roughly 54% of mothers say they do more than their spouse or partner to be an involved parent, while just 3% say their spouse or partner does more.
Hindirlane claimed that women need to start picking their partners with more care, especially if they are looking to start families, just to avoid the major disparity between mothers and fathers who actively participate in the division of labor.'
"We need to start telling future mothers to pick their partner wisely. Not only pick a man who wants kids but pick a man who also wants to be a father," she urged viewers. "We need to start telling them to talk about the division of labor super early on in their relationship.”
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Hindirlane pointed out that having a village is no longer a free or even realistic expectation for mothers.
But just because that may be the case, doesn't mean that mothers should be raising their children alone.
"It just means they literally have to pay for their village, so they should very much plan ahead for that," she concluded.
In addition to those women who consciously choose to become mothers and start families, there is also a significant number of women who find themselves in the role of motherhood unexpectedly. Just because their journey into motherhood may not have been planned, doesn't mean they should be absolved of the opportunity to have their own support systems.
It's impossible to prepare completely for parenthood, as raising and nurturing a child doesn't come with a handbook or guidelines. However, in a world where the cost of being a parent is becoming more expensive as the days go by, having a well-thought-out plan doesn't hurt anyone.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.
This article originally appeared on YourTango