Women On The Moment They Knew He Wasn't "The One"
When a relationship is mostly good, it can be tough to be honest with yourself about whether or not you see yourself with this person forever. It's easy to feel overly-picky for wanting to break up with someone over a not-immediately-pressing reason, but sometimes, there's a moment where you realize the break up is pretty much inevitable. Here are five women on the exact moments they knew they just weren't in it for the long haul with their partners:
1. “I had instantly ‘fallen in love’ with this guy that worked at an antique store. We exchanged numbers and soon after our first date we were seeing each other all the time. It was a very intense relationship, not to mention the best sex I had ever had. But after a couple of weeks, while I was getting everything I thought I had ever wanted (a really hot dude who was into spirituality, great in bed, adored me, wanted to take care of me, etc.), I was also starting to feel like I was drowning, losing myself, and my independence. I knew I didn’t want to be with him anymore when I would receive his text messages every morning wishing me a good day and I would dread having to answer him. I felt I had to answer; he never really gave me the time or space to miss him. Especially when, the more I got to know him, the more I realized we didn’t have that much to talk about and lived in two different worlds. Then one day he called me 'my lady,' and I knew I could never marry a man who would call me that. I really did not like it; I felt he had put me in a pedestal. A medieval pedestal! He's a wonderful man and it was hard to break up with someone that really cared for me, but if I dreaded answering a simple good morning text message, I knew the relationship wasn’t going anywhere.” – Elena, 26
2. "I was dating this guy in college, we had been together for about six months and my mom was coming into town for my birthday. I thought it would be fun for us to all go out to dinner because I wanted her to meet him. When I brought it up to him I made it clear that it was really casual and told him how excited I was for them to meet. His reaction was 'I’m not super pumped about it but I’ll do it.' And, just like the Taylor Swift song, that was the moment I knew. There were other things, but in general he was a very negative guy and he brought me down more than up and I knew that I had to get out." – Morgan, 24
3. “In college, I got into a relationship with my first-ever boyfriend and we were absolutely obsessed with each other. We had the quintessential first love honeymoon period where we never fought, posted couple selfies all the time, and spent all of our time together. About eight months into the relationship, I brought him to my hometown and had him meet a bunch of my friends at once. He built up how important it was for my friends to like him and tried so, so hard to impress them, making a lot of lame jokes, talking nonstop. It was bizarre, and not really like him. One friend in particular was more sassy and sarcastic with him, which he didn’t like at all. The standout moment was when we went back to the car and he was at the wheel. He immediately said that he didn’t like my friends and that he especially didn’t vibe well that one dry-humored friend. I tried to calm him down and say that it was probably a misunderstanding, but before I could continue, he suddenly yelled “Your friend is such a bitch!” and ZOOMED out of the parking space so quickly that I yelled for him to slow down. It was such a quick moment, but I felt like I was snapped into realizing who he really was when he got upset. I could never quite see him the same way again, and the glittery feeling I felt for him up until this point almost immediately dissolved.” – Tiffany, 23
4. “We dated for three years – half the time we were long-distance. We were applying for graduate schools together, hoping we got in the same ones, or at least close to each other. We had discussed that grad school would be our time to reunite and begin our ‘adult’ life together – move in together, get engaged, etc – and I saw it as the whole point of applying to the same schools. We didn't get into any of the same ones, but we got into schools 45 minutes away from each other. Instead of choosing that option, he chose to go to a school way further away than where we already were. I was really upset and tried to talk it over with him, but he didn't really listen to me. He also then changed his story from wanting the same timeline as me to arguing that I wanted marriage too young, kids too young, and other things that he had agreed with me on in the past. I think it was about that time that I realized our cultural upbringing and family backgrounds didn't mesh at all. What had been exciting to me as an 18-21 year old turned out to make us incompatible.” – Meghan, 26
5. “I was dating my then-boyfriend of two years. We had just gotten over a rocky patch due to some infidelity on his end, but I forgave him and was willing to try and make things work. I was away for the weekend celebrating a close friend’s bachelorette party. We were going around in a circle and saying our favorite thing about the bride-to-be’s relationship with her fiancé, and in my head I just knew – what I have isn’t this. I couldn’t think of what I would have said about my own relationship. I tried to push the thought out of my head because my partner and I had just had so many gut wrenching conversations about how we wanted to fight through the low point and be together long term, but at that moment, I knew it wasn’t right. We ended up breaking up a month later, and I can definitely say it was for the best.”– Carolyn, 29
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