Women Revealed The Worst Thing They Heard A Man They Thought They Were Close To Say, And It's Terrifying
This post contains mentions of sexual assault.
It's sometimes difficult to speak up about sexism, and it becomes even harder when that sexism comes from someone you previously thought you could trust. Reddit user u/sedbiss asked, "What's the scariest thing a male friend has said to you?" Here are a few women who shared their stories.
1."Some family friends came to my house for dinner once with their parents and the father saw a picture of when I was 11 (we were at my parents' house) and said that I had a nice 'curved' and 'mature' body. I know I developed a lot quicker than other people my age, but it's still a really weird thing to say about a child."
2."When I was 13, a male friend of my parents saw me LITERALLY AT CHURCH and commented IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS, 'Wow, you’re developing such a nice figure!'"
3."'I don’t care about your breakup, I thought you’d be fucking lonely. I only came over to meet you because I thought I’d have a chance but instead, it led to the worst six months of my life.' BLOCKED AND DELETED."
4."The first time preteen me went shopping with friends I bought jeans that said 'sexy' on the pocket. I wore them to my sister's soccer team and one of the dads from the other team asked 'Is that your name, or just what you prefer to be called?' I remember looking at the other parents (all from the other team), looking these moms in the face, looking for help, and they all just laughed. The way he said it made my skin crawl. It still does remembering it."
5."When I gained some weight one of my closest male friends got wasted one night and said that I was 'a waste' because I 'used to be hot.' I was dating one of his best friends so I wasn't single, and we never had any sort of romantic relationship. It was pretty heartbreaking to realize how little I meant to him, and to see what his priorities were."
6."The first time I met my ex’s friends, they talked so crudely about women, I was disgusted (these guys were med students by the way). My ex stayed mostly quiet but I wouldn’t be surprised if he engaged in the 'locker room talk' when I wasn’t around. Anyways I’m glad I never have to meet his friends again but it sickens me to think they’re going to be the nation’s doctors one day."
7."A few years back, I was working in a cemetery office and I needed to go check something in the park. It was the middle of summer so I didn’t wear my suit blazer and I was wearing a knee-length skirt and a fitted top. I ran into a colleague who was in his sixties and this is what he said: 'I’m glad you’re not like the other females here. I can say things to you and you’re not going to get weird and I like that. I’ve been with a lot of women in my lifetime and I have to say that the ones with your body type have always been the most fun in bed.'"
8."A friend from high school found out I had had sex in college and demanded nudes because 'Why not? Everyone ELSE has seen you naked. It’s my turn.' We’d never even flirted before. It was one of those moments of clarity in life where some shiny part of you gets dull and chipped."
9."I confided in a male coworker that I had previously been sexually assaulted. His response? 'I bet you liked it!'"
10."I had a male friend smash his kitchen up because he liked me and I'd met someone else. I went to talk to him after and he confessed he had liked me for ages and it had gotten to him that night. Funny thing, I really liked him too. I thought he had friend-zoned me! But after seeing his rage, I started to distance myself from him. Shame, he was really sweet when we were friends."
11."Once a childhood friend called me a 'German prostitute' after I straightened my hair."
12."While I was studying abroad, one of my roommates was sexually assaulted. It was really traumatic, and I was telling my guy friend back home about it. He replied, 'Is she hot?' I said, 'I’m not really sure what that has to do with anything.' He said, 'Sorry, I just thought maybe she was a slut. I don’t like to think of you not being safe over there.' Basically, if my roommate was hot, she must also be a slut, which made her at least to some degree responsible for what had happened, while I was 'safe' because I was unattractive. He truly thought he was comforting. That exchange told me so much about him."
13."A male friend gave my number away without my consent to a guy I’ve never met before. The dude texted me asking if we could meet up and when I asked where he got my number from he said it doesn’t matter. I blocked him and told this guy friend about it and he said it was him. Said I wasn’t cute enough for a guy to go out of his way to ask for my number and that I should be happy he’s 'helping' me. I immediately cut him out of my life."
14."I once had a male 'friend' confess to repeatedly masturbating next to me when I had fallen asleep because he was 'so in love with me.'"
15."We went out drinking in a group, he put his hands up my dress, and bent down and put his face in between my legs. I kept pushing him away, but he just said, 'What? I'm gay, it doesn't mean anything.' He wouldn't leave me alone all night and I felt really violated. Our other friends excused his behavior because they said it wasn't like he was going to hurt me."
16."I finally trusted a friend enough to come out to him as asexual. His response was, 'It’s because you were molested as a kid, right? That’s okay, I could fix you with enough time.'"
—Cici
17."I had a male friend (who I knew was interested in me) tell me that he kept all his exes’ nudes. I asked why and he said 'in case I need them for something someday,' hinting at revenge porn."
18."I had a family doctor tell me I had good birthing hips when I was 11. I changed doctors, but wish I would have told my mom so she could report him."
