Women Are Sharing Specific Things They Almost Always Are Judged For While Men Are Not — And These Double Standards Are Exhausting
I'm sure we can all agree that as women, there are just some things in life that we're more likely to be judged for than men are. Members of the BuzzFeed Community shared their thoughts on this topic, and it's stirring up an important conversation about double standards. Here is what some had to say.
1."I get judged for wearing shorts year-round. Guys can wear shorts and no one bats an eye. I have people commenting on the fact that I'm wearing shorts every single time I leave the house. It's called menopause, and I'm dealing with hot flashes. I'm not about to wear heavier clothing to walk from my house to the car, the car to a building, and the car to the house. It's refreshing to be outside."
2."Nipples poking out or being visible is totally fine for guys. If a woman does it, then it's frowned upon. I hate wearing bras. My nipples poke out a bit. The looks I get from other women are awful. My husband has pointed out the looks and side-eye. It's taken me damn near my entire life to feel comfortable in my own skin. I stopped caring about what other people think because my comfort is more important than what others think."
3."Women aren't supposed to be the primary breadwinner. I was making more money than my ex and childcare was so expensive, so we decided that my ex could stay home while I worked — and people were blown away by it. Women thought it was great, but most men judged both of us really badly. Men thought he was less of a man and I needed to let him lead the family like men are supposed to, or some dumb shit like that. It was really disheartening and just ridiculously closed-minded."
4."Oh, I get this one a lot: 'You should smile more.' Occasionally it's paired with, 'No one wants to see a depressed woman.' It bugs me so much, and it's just such an ick of mine. Men are almost never told to smile more."
5."Women are often judged for working in predominantly male job fields like construction, electrician, and such — but no one bats an eye when a man is in their line of work."
6."Passing gas. My stepdad walks around the house farting and burping freely. He never says excuse me, but if my mom or I let out even the tiniest burp, he jumps down our throats for being 'disgusting' and 'unladylike.'"
7."Judged for swearing? Fuck that."
8."We are judged for having any interest without an encyclopedic knowledge behind it. I’ve never heard of a man saying he’s into a band and being greeted with, 'Oh yeah? Well, name six of their songs,' but I know a ton of women who’ve experienced that."
9."Liking sci-fi or geeky stuff in general. You usually have to defend or justify yourself for it, and you'd better be prepared for follow-up questions to prove that you're not just saying that you like something."
10."House decor and level of cleanliness. Even when a mixed-gender couple shares a home and he's the one staying home, it's she who gets the crap if the place is untidy or cluttered. For single people, men get a shrug and 'Boys will be boys,' as though women are born with the ability and money to make everything nice, matching, and perfect in their homes."
11."Prescription glasses. From what I’ve seen, men who wear glasses are more likely to be considered distinguished and are often not encouraged to take them off or get contacts. Meanwhile, people don’t usually have that same sentiment toward women who wear glasses. I’m often given a hard time — especially by other women — because I refuse to take my glasses off if I’m getting my picture taken."
12."Being called out as an 'aggressive' person, when a male coworker who is much pushier is called 'strong' or 'a go-getter.' My boss will be surprised when I 'aggressively' take my talent elsewhere."
13."Sarcasm. When men use it — it’s witty. When women use it — it’s rude."
14."Weight. Not always, but usually it seems more acceptable or even cute for a man to have a 'dad bod' or a beer belly, when it should be acceptable for ALL of us to exist in our bodies without judgment. Also, women being judged when they're too muscular! I guess we’re all just supposed to fit some flat-tummy, big-breasted, toned but not muscular mold. It’s a lot of pressure, and I’m over it!"
15."Being excited about going back to work after maternity leave. Obviously you miss your kids, but I was pumped to get to work and start feeling like myself again. There's this idea that I should feel guilty for putting my kids in daycare. No one questioned anything when my husband went back to work."
Are there any other things you think that men can do freely but women are often judged for doing? Tell me in the comments below!
Note: Some of these responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
