This Broome County support group unites parents who've lost children

Shelley Levchak of Kirkwood knows the pain of losing a child and the comfort she received from a support group of people who've suffered similar losses.

“When I walked in, they were there with open arms for me,” she said of fellow group members. “They become family.”

That’s why she volunteers as the co-leader of Compassionate Friends of Broome County, a support group for parents and other relatives who have lost children of any age. Donna Cunningham serves as the group's other co-leader.

"It saved my life," she said of her involvement in the group. "I got so much comfort from this group."

The Broome County group is the local chapter of Compassionate Friends, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to helping bereaved families after the death of a child. More than 500 chapters are located in all 50 states plus Washington D.C., Puerto Rico, and Guam.

While the group is primarily for parents who’ve lost children, the group welcomes other family members including siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles and other relatives. Mothers who have lost babies during pregnancy or after birth are also welcome to attend, Levchak said.

Levchak joined the group in 2016 following the death of her only child, Charles Joseph "CJ" Levchak, who died of an overdose of fentanyl.

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"CJ was a very, very sweet kind young man," she said. "He lost his way."

Losing a child is more painful than any losses, she said.

“It’s not like losing a parent,” she said. “You expect to lose a parent. You don’t expect to lose a child.”

Losing a child is a life-changing and devastating experience, she said.

"When you lose a child, you go into shock," she said. "When you lose a child, your life has completely changed. You are a totally different person."

Only those who have been through the same experience can understand what the grieving parent is going through, Levchak said.

“Your family, your friends — they don’t want to hear about it,” she said. “This is a group you can go to and you can talk about your child as much as you want.”

She still remembers the relief she felt the first time she attended a meeting of Compassionate Friends of Broome County. Soon after she arrived, another mother present talked about losing her child to a drug overdose.

"I felt all this weight went off my shoulders," she said. "I've got somebody here that knows the pain and the agony and the guilt that you feel. You connect with those people because they know what you're going through."

Members tell their stories and support each other, Levchak said.

"There is definitely a lot of empathy and a lot of love for each other," she said of group members. "Other people will cry right along with you because they know your pain."

As the co-leader, Levchak is responsible for behind the scenes work for the group including planning events such as an annual candle lighting ceremony in memory of lost loved ones. She and other group members also plant flowers and take care of the Angel of Hope statue in Hillcrest Park.

Members support each other outside the meeting room, too. Levchak has called to check on group members between meetings.

Levchak said she will keep co-leading the group for as long as possible.

"That's why I keep going," she said. "It gives me a lot of comfort knowing that I am helping other people who have lost their children."

More about Shelley Levchak

Home and Hometown: Kirkwood

Career: Employee of Broome Pediatrics

Family: Husband, Charles. Their only child, Charles Joseph “CJ” Levchak, died in 2016.

Compassionate Friends: The group meets on the first Monday of each month from 6 to 8 p.m. and the third Saturday of each month from 10 a.m. until noon at the Nimmonsburg United Methodist Church, 918 Upper Front St., Binghamton. Anyone who has lost a child at any age or for any reason is welcome. Other family members are welcome to attend.

For more information: stny.info/tcfbroome/

This article originally appeared on Binghamton Press & Sun-Bulletin: This Broome County support group unites parents who've lost children