Cognitive candidate: Trump can't tell Browns apart
Aug. 11—Most people are accustomed to hearing Donald Trump fib. Like Forrest Gump, Trump will insert himself into fantastical situations.
He fumbled last week by making a living person part of his account of an ordeal in midair, one replete with disclosures from the enemy camp.
During a news conference in Florida, Trump told of being aboard a failing helicopter with Willie Brown. A former mayor of San Francisco, Brown some 30 years ago dated Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris.
Trump claimed he and Brown faced death together. And, according to Trump, Brown dished dirt on Harris during that terror-filled flight.
"I went down in a helicopter with him. We thought maybe this was the end," Trump said. "We were in a helicopter going to a certain location together, and there was an emergency landing. This was not a pleasant landing."
Brown told reporters he was never on a helicopter with Trump. In response, Trump claimed he has the flight records, though he has not released this important evidence.
In Trump's vivid imagination and rambling description, Brown not only was on a wobbling helicopter. Trump claims Brown knocked Harris.
"And Willie was, he was a little concerned. So, I know him, but I know him pretty well," Trump said. "I mean, I haven't seen him in years. But he told me terrible things about her."
Trump might want to reconsider his call for presidential candidates to take cognitive tests. It seems he could not tell one man surnamed Brown from another.
Then-California Gov. Jerry Brown was on a helicopter flight with Trump, an inspection of fire-scarred California in 2018. There was no trouble, no emergency landing and, Jerry Brown said, no mention of Harris.
Given that Willie Brown is Black and Jerry Brown is white, Trump's eyesight should be examined before he takes his next cognitive test. With Brown being such a common name, Trump's possibilities for confusion seem endless.
Imagine Trump recounting a meeting with hall-of-fame football player Jim Brown: "I'd been a fan of Jimmy since his days at Syracuse University. I was 10 years old when I promoted Jimmy in 1956 as the first Black player who should win the Heisman Trophy. Jimmy switched to a career in music after leaving Syracuse, and he hit it big with his recording of Please, Please, Please. He slimmed down, and he altered his hairstyle after changing from fullback to song-and-dance man."
Or how about the prospect of Trump trying to sort out the careers of Jerry Brown and his dad, Pat Brown, both of whom served as governor of California: "I told Jerry to retire from politics after he whipped Richard Nixon in the 1962 gubernatorial election. I was only a sophomore in high school at the time, but I knew Nixon wanted to talk about relationships with China. He had no interest in orange groves or Disneyland. That one election had Jerry believing he was indivisible or invincible or something. That was why Jerry later lost the governorship to Ronald Reagan. Ronny was Dutch, I'm almost certain, and that made him a tremendous competitor, even if he leaned too heavily on his teleprompter."
Trump's business background and devotion to sports might betray him if he had to deal with an arena of multiple Browns. I can almost hear him: "I would have been a tremendous commissioner of Major League Baseball. Never, ever, not in a hundred years, would I have permitted the Cleveland Indians to become the Cleveland Comedians. Is that the right name? Maybe not. Who cares? I used my vast influence to make sure the Cleveland Browns never changed their name, even when team owner Bobby Brown kept singing My Prerogative, which sounded like a tacit threat to switch to a more marketable moniker."
Trump enjoys talking about fake news. It's a theme that fits his storylines of being robbed at the ballot box and misrepresented in print and television coverage.
He will bear the label of faker unless he supplies flight records proving he and Willie Brown were on a helicopter that made an emergency landing.
Trump's claim Willie spoke disparagingly about Harris should fall apart if there was no such flight. But Trump will stick to his general allegation that somewhere, sometime he heard Willie belittle Harris.
More than a cognitive test is necessary in Trump's circus of a campaign. A polygraph exam on live television might be in order.
Ringside Seat is an opinion column about people, politics and news. Contact Milan Simonich at [email protected] or 505-986-3080.