You’re nobody ‘til somebody loves you — the 4 most codependent zodiac signs

Let’s talk codependence, folks, the shadow side of nice — and caretaking as a tactic of control.

Less a diagnosis and more a framework for understanding interpersonal dynamics, codependence is the relationship between a person with low self-worth/a serious approval kink and a manipulative or controlling individual.

Related to narcissism and addiction, the five core symptoms of codependency are low self-esteem, people-pleasing patterns, difficulty setting boundaries, caretaking, and dependency.

Codependency develops when the pain of others provokes the pain of the codependent, who is then motivated/activated to solve or soothe.

Ipso facto the rescuer and the rescued rely on one other to fill the unfillable void in each other.

While codependency exhibits itself across the zodiac wheel, some signs are more vulnerable to its snares than others.

CANCER (June 21 – July 22)

In astrology, Cancer represents the archetype of the mother — nurturing, tending, and ever-keeping a proverbial t-t in the mouth of their dependents. While we are all born dependent on our primary caretakers, some Cancers project this attention/need onto adult relationships, participating in a martyr/mother dynamic.

These sensitive creatures are especially susceptible to the codependent cycle of sacrifice and resentment, avoiding themselves by putting the well-being of others ahead of their own and reacting badly when their efforts are not appreciated or reciprocated.

Sledgehammer-swinging superfan Kathy Bates in “Misery”? Classic codependent Cancer.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

Virgo folk are born fixers — they don’t see a red flag; they see a cry for help; it’s not a hot mess with a pill problem; it’s unrealized potential.

This lens of help/hope allows them to see the deficiency of others, particularly romantic partners, as a challenge to overcome rather than a situation to avoid. Ever wanting to be useful, Virgos overinvest in the well-being of others and view any failure as evidence of their own faults.

Acts of service are the love language of this mutable earth sign—and codependence is their ugly cousin. These acts are often committed, consciously or unconsciously, to create a debt bond between the giver and the recipient and avoid abandonment. If you need me, you won’t leave me.

Recovering celebrity Virgo codependents include comedienne Whitney Cummings and spectacled daddy Dr. Drew Pinksy.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

As rulers of the seventh house of partnership, the shadow side of Libra measures self-worth by relationship status. A serious part of this sign wants to ride someone else’s train and heal someone else’s pain to avoid conducting/addressing their own.

Regarding cultural archetypes proving my point, Carrie Bradshaw is a Libra, folks.

Born people pleasers, Libras learn early and adroitly how to manipulate others based on their ability to recognize and leverage needs.

Apropos of the scales of balance, those with strong Libra placements will often become or offer whatever their partner lacks — stability, sobriety, etc. Overcompensation is a hallmark of this cardinal air sign for whom peacekeeping routinely becomes an act of self-betrayal.

PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

Rulers of the 12th house of self-undoing, Pisces people are drawn to the condition of total enmeshment. Enmeshment is sexy when you’re taking edibles in a national park or engaging in ecstatic dance, but it’s a dangerous game in relationships wherein Pisces partners abandon themselves on the pyre of love.

Owing to the influence of deceptive planet Neptune, Pisceans struggle to see others for who they truly are, as opposed to the dream lover they imagine them to be. This wet-eyed optimistic wonderment is a quality that lends itself to codependent dynamics.

Chronically empathetic Pisces are the great apologists of the zodiac, able to excuse/deny the addictions, tendencies, and general trash behavior of their beloved.

Mutable to a fault, Pisces folks are ever ready to transmogrify themselves into whatever shape/savior their partner/trauma pal may need.

My favorite Pisces cites this video, of a child refusing to put down a could-be rabid dumpster-diving raccoon named Rocky (“but I LOVE HIM!), as a metaphor for Piscean codependence.

Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience.