Rihanna should take over the world, one product launch at a time
Last week it was reported that Rihanna is launching a Fenty lingerie line. This means you can now fully dress yourself to the nines in Rihanna-designed apparel, from makeup to socks.
We are just a few tiny business ventures and celebrity endorsements away from being able to live a fully-branded Rihanna lifestyle, and I am here for it.
SEE ALSO: Rihanna walks like she's immortal and it's freaking people out
Every time Fenty-related news breaks, Twitter is crowded with something between fanfiction and prediction. Below are some of the best tweets since Fenty Beauty was first released about the possibilities still to come from Rihanna's talent as a businesswoman.
Martha Stewart will be left penniless when Fenty develops home goods and lifestyle lines
10 years from now i cant wait to grab a Fenty beer from my Fenty fridge & relax on my Fenty furniture while watching my Fenty tv pic.twitter.com/ZXFuclkp89
— bri🎈 (@_itsbribri28) September 8, 2017
i cannot wait to wear fenty lingerie under my fenty clothing with my fenty shoes and fenty beauty and live in a fenty apartment complex where i pay for fenty electricity and drink fenty water and struggle to keep money in my bank of fenty account
— ariel lebeau (@ariellebeau) March 6, 2018
Naturally, the next step will be entire industries
with free health care under the 'Fenty Health Insurance for All Act' and a degree from Fenty university, debt free thanks to FAFSA (the Free Application for FENTY Student Aid)
— alice in bonerland (@dontsendmenudes) March 7, 2018
Rihanna has also proven to be indomitable at social media
It's time to create Fenty App then, so we can say what we wanna say without getting banned pic.twitter.com/YiZQJYFtZd
— Fenty (@riabood) March 13, 2018
After Rihanna instructed her 60,000,000 Instagram followers to delete Snapchat, the company's shares plunged- causing the it to lose about $600,000,000.00 in market cap in a matter of hours. pic.twitter.com/KewHFSaDDZ
— loved in 7 languages (@chRIHssy) March 15, 2018
I still find interacting with banks and managing my small amount of money miserable, but I wouldn’t think twice about submitting every asset I own and every dollar I make writing for MashableFenty-ble straight to the Bank of Fenty.
Every morning I would wake up at 10 a.m. (because Rihanna would no doubt outlaw work before 11) and drink a hot cup of joe from my Fenty-issued coffee beans that were harvested in Fentopia by unionized Fenty employees.
I would stare straight into the sun just to get myself admitted to a Fenty Hospital where the nurses' uniforms would probably be decorated with silk and Swarovski crystals.
While most of Twitter is happy to obsess over Rih-leases that can’t be leaked online, a few fans are still hoping Rihanna will remember she was once a recording artist.
we got fenty beauty, fenty socks, fenty shoes, fenty perfume, fenty clothes but where's the fenty music???? where is it robyn? pic.twitter.com/tCakbZKyOZ
— ezra miller's whore (@gIossyfenty) March 7, 2018
To be fair, it does feel as if Rihanna will release every sort of product line possible before recording new music. Yet, Rihanna has always been known first and foremost for her bad-gal style. She mastered control of her personal brand before most artists grasped how to walk the line between engaging fans with authenticity while reserving a personal life.
Rihanna's the girl whose Instagram alternates between celebratory memes and candid photos of her leaving restaurants whilst holding a glass of wine. She has an Oprah-ish aura that makes us feel as if we need her in our lives.
I can’t wait until Fenty become a massive conglomerate and we live in a Rihannocracy.
— Rumpelsimpskin (@DavidEatsViagra) September 25, 2017
I would go so far as to give up net neutrality if it meant I could surf the Fenty web and post two-dozen photos of my new cat from the Fenty adoption center on Fentybook.
And I would sleep perfectly fine at night with that decision, resting my head on my Fenty sheets in my Fenty bed dreaming Fenty-led dreams.
Cheers to the future, fellow citizens of Fentopia.
Me and my girls in 2020 rocking fenty beauty and fenty fashions while drinking fenty wine pic.twitter.com/xmgy5Anxvt
— Romeo Santos (@ByeAshy) September 24, 2017