Being a Teen Mom Didn’t Ruin My Life

Teen mom Allison Johnson, now 21, and her son, Blake. (Photo: Allison Johnson)

With the popularity of TV shows such as Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant, there are lots of negative stereotypes surrounding teenage moms. But not all young parents have unstable lives. Allison Johnson, 21, tells Yahoo Parenting about having a baby at 18 and explains why motherhood makes her life better. 

In July 2012, I had just graduated from high school in Grain Valley, Mo., and was working part-time at Bed Bath & Beyond. I was excited to start college in August and study pediatric therapy — instead, I found out I was pregnant. I was 18 years old.

Related: ‘Teen Mom’ Stars Under Fire After Welcoming Second Daughter

I was in a relationship with my boyfriend, Brandon, then 20, and on the birth control pill. But I often forgot to take it at the same time every day and sometimes I skipped days altogether. Since it wasn’t uncommon for me to miss a period now and then, I didn’t assume I was pregnant. But when I started to feel really hormonal, I decided to take a pregnancy test.

Related: The Truth About Pregnancy: 18 Honest Confessions

When the doctor confirmed I was two months pregnant, I cried. How was I supposed to tell my parents? Initially, abortion crossed my mind. But at our first ultrasound appointment, Brandon and I knew we wanted to keep the baby. We couldn’t handle the thought of not having it, although the decision wasn’t easy.

Allison and her boyfriend, Brandon, with their 2 ½-year-old son, Blake. (Photo: Allison Johnson)

My relationship with Brandon wasn’t perfect when I got pregnant. Six months prior, I found out he had cheated on me and I was crushed. But ultimately, I forgave him, recognizing his immaturity, and we got back together.

The first person I told about the baby was my mom. She was concerned for how I was going to raise and pay for a child because I was still living at home. But she never questioned my relationship with Brandon. However, when Brandon told my father I was pregnant, my dad said he needed to step up as a father. And my older brother was angry because he didn’t support our relationship to begin with.

I withdrew from college and instead enrolled in a culinary institute, a career that would have involved less schooling than pediatric therapy. I continued living with my parents (who agreed to help support me) and working at Bed Bath & Beyond. Brandon lived with his parents and worked at a food and beverage manufacturer. He also contributed financially.

It didn’t take long for me to start showing. Most people were happy for me, and my co-workers were supportive. Those girls got me through a lot of late nights and long Saturday shifts. However, the parents of some of my friends were shocked, and people would tell me I looked too young to be pregnant. But I tried not to let any comments or negativity phase me.

Allison’s son, Blake, at a Kansas City Royals game in May. (Photo: Allison Johnson)

I gave birth to Blake Michael Johnson on Jan. 24, 2013. All of my family and Brandon’s family came to the hospital — but only Brandon and I were in the room for the birth. After I delivered Blake, I was so happy. He was perfect and healthy and everything that we had hoped he would be. The weirdest part was people calling me a mom. It never fully hit me that I was a mother until months after Blake was born.

Sometimes I question my parenting skills. Blake is probably a little spoiled, and I worry about that. I also wonder if I’m doing things right — even when it comes to the smallest things. Recently, Blake got really sick after drinking juice. We were up all night because he kept throwing up. He couldn’t even keep water down, so we ended up at the emergency room, where doctors said he was dehydrated. It was a scary moment, but Blake was fine. Ultimately, I try not to compare myself to other moms and I take advice from my mom and my grandma.

But overall, my life is amazing since I have become a mom. Blake is 2 ½ years old now and loves playing sports. I work full-time in the accounting department of a financial firm and go to school part-time at Johnson County Community College. I’m really indecisive about my career path, however, now I’m leaning more toward early childhood development. How convenient, right? My priorities have also shifted. I’m more concerned with saving money or spending it on Blake instead of buying clothes for myself. Personally, I enjoy shopping for toddler clothes more than my own.

Brandon and I are even able to spend time together and hang out with our friends because our parents offer to babysit. But I never sleep late anymore. I’m responsible for another human being now.

I am still the same person I was before, except I’m a lot more mature and my outlook on life is different. The No. 1 lesson I have learned from having a baby at this age is to never judge people. I will always remember what it’s like to be on the other side.

I hope the stereotypes of teen moms are coming to an end. After all, I’m not a cliché — Brandon and I are still together, and he is an amazing dad to our beautiful son. We even plan to get married in a few years. Having a baby has not ruined my life forever — it was just a speed bump.

Life absolutely changes when you have a child so young, but it doesn’t have to resemble Teen Mom. You can make a wonderful life for yourself and your baby.

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