Inspiring 'Heaven on Earth' Dad Loses Fight With Cancer

Oren Miller. Photo by Facebook.

Beloved daddy blogger Oren Miller — who wrote about everything from being a stay-at-home dad for his 4- and 6-year-old children to being diagnosed with terminal lung cancer — died on Saturday after an eight-month battle with the disease. He was 42.

“I believe in Heaven on Earth, and I believe it’s found anywhere you seek it,” Miller wrote on “A Blogger and a Father,” disclosing his diagnosis in June. In that post, written from his hospital bed and shared thousands of times, he shared an epiphany he had on a recent family vacation, during which he spent more time checking emails than he did in the moment.

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“It was only on the drive back that I realized I had been experiencing the biggest tragedy of human existence: I was having the time of my life, and I didn’t even know it,” he wrote. “That was a good day, since once you make that decision, man… You’re in Heaven every single second of your life… It made the difference between a living Hell, where I was always behind, always unhappy, and always unfulfilled — always a step behind on my writing, my relationship with my wife, with my friends, and with my kids — and a living Heaven, where even if I had wanted more out of life, I also knew I had it all.”

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Miller was born in Israel, where he did his mandatory service in the army before moving to London and playing in a rock band. It was during that time when he met his future wife, Beth Blauer, who wrote a guest blog post in January about their 1997 chance encounter in a pub.

Miller with his family. Photo by A Blogger and a Father.

“The short story is, the next day I told my Aunt Marlene that I had met my future husband, that I was in love and that I would be back in London. And I was right, about everything. On that balmy, August, London night, I met the man some people only dream about. From the moment we met, I felt completely and utterly fulfilled. Every cliché is fitting. Four years later we were married, six years later Liam was born, two years later Madeline was born, and in March of last year we moved in to our dream home. The first few weeks in the house, every night, I would look at Oren and we would just marvel at how far we had come and how lucky we were.” Two months after moving into their house, her husband received his diagnosis.

“There are some things that I have learned over the last several months that I want to share,” Blauer continued. “First, kids are incredible and resilient and we don’t give them nearly enough credit. Second, when something like this happens in your life, your friends will be there. Don’t worry, they will be. This whole thing has refreshed my faith in humanity. The goodness in people is like a life raft in the abyss of the ocean.” And her final lesson, she concluded, was that “Oren Miller is the most incredible human being I have ever known. In our march through the grueling and cruel battlefield of cancer, it is Oren who is our North Star, our light in the distance.”

Miller and Blauer. Photo by A Blogger and a Father.

Miller also ran a popular Facebook community page, “Dad Bloggers,” which has more than 1,000 members from around the world. They wound up unleashing an outpouring of support soon after Miller wrote about having cancer, raising less than $13,000 for his medical care in less than a day and going on to raise more than $38,000 for his family. “We, his friends, family and fellow dad bloggers, want to give back to Oren Miller and his family a portion of all he’s given us,” notes the GiveForward fundraising page.

There’s been a flood of grief on social media since news spread of his death over the weekend, with many people simply linking to Miller’s own introspective words. On Twitter, “Life of Dad" blogger noted, “The dad community lost a great man today.” Wrote another, “I’ve long struggled with the definition of a ‘friend’ but can easily say I lost one this past weekend.”

"Designer Daddy" blogger Brent Almond delivered Miller’s eulogy, which he then posted on his site. In it, he writes about his last visit with Miller, who had instructed him on how to take over and continue the Facebook community page. “Oren, please know that your legacy, your group, your fathers — are in good hands,” he wrote. “In the hands of those that have shared and supported your vision. We’re in the hands of each other, continuing to laugh and argue, comfort and counsel, inspire and challenge. And even more importantly, our families are in good hands. Hands that come together to learn, to hold firm to one another for support, to learn wisdom and patience and compassion, hands that allow us to be better spouses, partners, sons, and fathers.”

In an interview with the Baltimore Sun three months before his death, Miller shared that he did not believe in an afterlife, but that he would have liked to. “I wish I did believe I could sit on a cloud and look down and send signs to my kids,” he said. “I believe in what remains, in memory. That has to be good enough.”

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