Jill Duggar's Husband Under Fire for 'Babysitting' His Son
Derick Dillard, husband of Jill Duggar Dillard, has created a firestorm on Instagram after posting a photo in which he says he is “babysitting” his infant son.
The photo (above), which Dillard posted on Tuesday, shows Dillard smiling with his 6-month-old son, Israel, on his lap. It’s an adorable father-son moment, but the caption, in which Dillard writes, “Babysitting this guy this morning,” is rubbing people the wrong way.
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Among the 905 comments on the post are remarks like this one: “How is that babysitting exactly? He’s your son. Do you think Jill just babysits him too? I bet she doesn’t.” Another commenter writes, “Dads don’t babysit their own kids. You’re helping to raise him. You just happen to be spending time with him today…babysitting makes it sound like he’s not [your] kid.”
Dillard has since made his Instagram account private.
Derick Dillard with his wife, Jill Duggar Dillard. (Photo: D Dipasupil/Getty Images)
While it may have been an off-the-cuff remark, John Pacini, co-founder of the Dad 2.0 Summit, aimed at changing the public perception of modern fatherhood, says this kind of language is harmful to dads everywhere. “The bar is already low for fathers in general,” Pacini tells Yahoo Parenting. “This language implies [Dillard] doesn’t have the capability or concern to be a fully engaged parent in his child’s life. Maybe he can’t nurse the baby, but he’s an equal parent with equal responsibilities.”
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Pacini, who talked to Yahoo Parenting while working from home and caring for his two kids who were off from school while his wife was away on business, says that “nothing irritates a fully engaged father more than hearing another father refer to childcare as ‘babysitting.’ It’s called parenting.”
A babysitter, Pacini says, is a different job. “Whether a babysitter is a neighborhood teenager or a professional who watches kids full-time, they are hired to do a task and then they leave. If you look at parenting as babysitting, it becomes a chore or a task,” he says. Using the babysitter language only perpetuates an old stereotype. “It creates the image of an unengaged father, and confirms what we are trying to fight — the concept of the bumbling dad who is incapable of caring for his children.”
That kind of language is learned, Pacini says. “It was probably modeled by [Dillard’s] father. Often what holds dads back is the behavior of other men,” he says. “This is a cornerstone of the fatherhood movement — helping dads and moms realize that fatherhood is a full-time obligation, responsibility and calling.”
Dillard should embrace the responsibility, Pacini says. “I relish this kind of solo time with my kids,” he says about his own current caretaking time at home. “It’s busy parenting: meals, bedtime rituals, doctor visits, everything. This is my responsibility that I love, not some burdensome tasks where I can’t wait to be relieved as soon as my wife returns.”
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