Moms Shamed for Needing to Pump Breast Milk During Plane Trips

Parents are constantly shamed for their choices. From how we feed our children to how we educate them, everyone has an opinion on how to raise kids. The result? Moms and dads feel endlessly judged for the choices they make — even if they have no other options. This week, families around the country are sharing their inspiring, funny, honest, and heartbreaking stories with Yahoo Parenting in an effort to spark conversations, a little compassion, and change in the way we think about parenting forever. Share your story with us — #NoShameParenting

Two breastfeeding mothers are speaking out this week after both claim they were mistreated by airline employees when they needed to pump while traveling – one says she was instructed to pump in an airport pet relief area, while another was allegedly reprimanded for pumping in the airplane lavatory.

Liz Cooper, a mother of two who was traveling for work on Monday without her four-month-old baby, was on her way from Boston to Harrisburg, Penn., and needed to pump during her layover at Washington Dulles Airport. When she got off her first flight, she says she approached a United employee — the airline she was flying — and asked where she could find a private place to pump. “First she told me to use the family restroom, which I explained wasn’t sanitary and wasn’t going to work,” Cooper (pictured above with her son) tells Yahoo Parenting. “Then she said ‘we have the pet relief center, which could work since we haven’t had a lot of pets in the airport today.’ She told me those were the only options.”

STORY: These U.S. Airports are Breast-Pumping Friendly (The Rest? Not So Much.)

Cooper says she inquired about where airport employees pump, since it’s federal law that places with 50 or more employees supply breastfeeding moms with a private space to do so. “She said ‘we have a location in a secure area where you are not allowed,’” Cooper says. Next, Cooper tried the airport’s two United Clubs, the private lounge where travelers can relax before their flights, but was told she couldn’t use the space since she wasn’t a paying member, even though she was flying on a United flight. “I said I will only be 15 minutes, I won’t do anything or touch anything,” she says. “I don’t want to drink your alcohol or read your magazines or eat your food or use your wifi, I just want a private spot to pump for 15 minutes.” Still, Cooper was turned away.

Eventually, Cooper checked out the family restroom, but found it to be unsanitary and unsuitable, since there was no outlet to plug in her breast pump. The pet relief area wasn’t an option, either. “It was a wide open room with a fire hydrant in the middle for a dog to go to the bathroom,” she says. “I love dogs, I understand that people travel with them and they need somewhere to go, and that people have service pets, so I’m in support of a pet relief area, just not as a place to pump.”

STORY: Breastfeeding Mom Harassed on United Flight

Liz Cooper says a United employee suggested she pump in this Pet Relief Area at Washington Dulles Airport on a recent work trip. (Photo: Liz Cooper/Facebook)

In the end, Cooper found a quiet terminal and sat in the corner of a gate and pumped in public, with a coworker shielding her from the view of other travelers and airport employees. “My coworker is a female and a mom and she breastfed, so she helped me, but still, you shouldn’t have to do that. It’s ridiculous,” she says. “Some people take off their top and breastfeed in public, which is fine, but that’s not my style. I like to be discreet – that’s how I feel comfortable. I was appalled. I wasn’t doing anything out of the norm. And if you’re a big airport like Dulles and you don’t have a designated location, at least have a backup plan.”

Since Tweeting about her experience, Cooper says she has received an apology from United Airlines, though she hasn’t heard from officials at Dulles Airport.

In a statement provided to Yahoo Parenting, officials at Washington Dulles said, “Washington Dulles International Airport regrets that a mother was unable to find a suitable area for nursing at the airport, and we apologize for her experience. We have been working for many months to design new spaces throughout the airport to accommodate nursing mothers. We expect to have eight new dedicated nursing lounges available later this year.”

United Airlines posted a statement about the incident on their website. “In that terminal at Washington Dulles International Airport, there currently aren’t areas designated for use by nursing mothers. For several months, United and the Dulles Airport operator have been working to set up nursing rooms throughout the airport. We expect those rooms will be available by year-end,” the statement read. “We have spoken with the customer and the agent, a long-time United employee who told us she understood the customer was requesting a private area. The agent’s intention was to explain that the only areas completely private at that time were a family restroom and the pet-relief area. The agent was not advising or directing the customer to use the pet-relief area. When nursing rooms aren’t available, for some moms, a family restroom may be an acceptable choice, and employees may point them toward the nearest family restroom. All nursing moms are welcome to nurse or use a breast pump in any of our public facilities or on our aircraft, as well. Our employees have been instructed to accommodate moms – consistent of course with any safety and security regulations.”

Another traveling mom, this one on American Airlines, says she too was shamed by an airline employee this week. While flying from Chicago to Phoenix, Mariana Hannaman went into the lavatory to pump, so as not to make the passenger seated next to her uncomfortable, she told KNXV. After spending ten minutes in the bathroom, which the mom to a 4-month-old says she warned fellow passengers about, Hannaman says a flight attendant ordered her to open the door. “So I opened the door, with the pump still attached to my breasts and she looked down and then said ‘what are you doing, you can’t do that here. You’re taking too long, there’s other passengers,’” Hannaman told KNXV. Since she wasn’t finished pumping, Hannaman stepped out of the bathroom to show the other passengers in line what she was doing and asked their permission to finish. “She diminished me. I felt like a little girl.”

Hannaman, who didn’t respond to Yahoo Parenting’s request for comment, told KNXV that when she confronted the flight attendant, she was told she should have warned them ahead of time that she would be pumping.

Leslie Scott, a spokesperson for American Airlines, says that new mothers are allowed to breastfeed or pump in any of the airline’s facilities. “We allow moms to breastfeed or pump on the plane in their seat, in the lavatory, in an Admiral’s Club, at the gate, anywhere a passenger is allowed to be. That is the policy,” she tells Yahoo Parenting. “There is no strict policy on whether you have to tell a flight attendant if you are going to pump in the lavatory. But, as a new working mother myself, as a matter of practice I always give the flight attendant a head’s up if I will be pumping in the lavatory, since I’ll be in there for 20 minutes or so and that’s a long time.”

Scott says the first responsibility of any flight attendant is to ensure passenger safety and security, so they are trained to watch out for certain activity, including medical emergencies in lavatories or passengers engaging in illegal activity in the bathroom, like smoking, which might keep them in the restroom for an extended period of time. “That’s why I always let someone know,” she says. “I think that didn’t happen in this case and what probably started as the flight attendant being concerned and checking on the passenger ended up being a misunderstanding. We’ve reached out and apologized and we do support breastfeeding moms in whatever fashion they want to and need to do that.”

Hannaman told KNXV that she hopes flight attendants will be trained to treat breastfeeding mothers better in the future. For her part, Cooper says she’s surprised that these pumping questions are even a discussion today. “It never occurred to me that this would be an issue in 2015,” she says. “You can’t tell me I’m the first working traveling mom who needs to pump. I’m not some pioneer breastfeeder.”

(First photo: Liz Cooper)

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