50 Shades of Leather: A Real-Life Dominatrix Tells All

Photos courtesy of Mistress Adrienne/@MistressAdrienneNYC

The obsession with whips, chains and leather is not limited to Christian Grey’s penthouse lair. There’s a thriving, underground population of people who enjoy  teasing and torture. Yahoo Style spoke to real-life dominatrix Mistress Adrienne – a Midwestern girl who moved to New York to pursue fashion, but soon ditched it to start her life as a domme. She talks to us about the ins and outs of sex dungeons, the most bizarre fetishes, and whether or not the actual BDSM world lives up to our 50 Shades of Grey fantasy.

Yahoo Style: What was your first experience in the dungeon like?
Mistress Adrienne: I went in wearing a red cashmere Halston outfit because red makes me feel bold and alive. So I was already feeling quite comfortable.

YS: So do your friends and family know you do this?
MA: It’s a full time job and I’d say most of my family knows about. You know, my close family. They know that I’m living a life that I’m enjoying.

YS: And how did you tell them you were changing from fashion to this?
MA: Well my mom said, “we figured.” She just said “Well we always knew that you had a dominant personality and we knew that you were buying expensive leather boots.” I guess they just put it together. [Laughs) They weren’t surprised.

YS: Do you screen your clients?
MA: Well I’m really good with judging people by the way they address me in an email. That’s the first screening. The way they address me, if they checked their spelling – even simple things like that. Then I give them a phone call before I see them. Just to get that second impression. And then I see them at the dungeon; it’s not like I’m meeting them at my apartment.

YS: Do you ask them if they have any allergies (like latex) or high blood pressure?
MA: No. That’s up to the person to tell me. I’ve never met anyone with a latex allergy. I know it exists, but if a person with a latex allergy were contacting a dominatrix, you’d think they’d mention it. I’m also certified in yoga so I know how to adjust certain positions for injured/inflexible people.

YS: What do you wear?
MA: Well, that’s one of the great perks. I’m a leather fetishist so I love to wear leather. I also love wearing some of my vintage pieces like an old pair of Azzedine Alaia leather pants. I have some cool latex outfits and cat suits. I did have some latex disintegrate on me once, because when latex gets cold it disintegrates. Sometime lingerie. Every once in a while, you’ll get a request for casual clothes. That can be fun too. Just doing a session as your regular self, you know?

YS: So what happens in a session ?
MA: I give them an address. I’m already inside. They come in and I help them get undressed. I usually have them wait for me in a position. So I’ll say, “Ok, get on your knees and wait for me in the corner, facing the window, naked” and then I’ll leave the room. I like to give them a moment where they realize that have to be submissive to me — they transform from the guy on the the street into the slave.

YS: You don’t take your clothes off?
MA: No, the mistress stays fully dressed. Every one has their preference. But for me, the mistress stays dressed. The slaves don’t have the privilege to be able to see me nude.

YS: So what do you dress the slaves in?
MA: Well, they’ll either be nude, or they’ll be dressed in women’s clothing. I really like to see men in women’s panties. Sometimes I’ll bring my old, ripped pantyhose – a pair that’s gotten torn up, and I’ll put them in those. Or maybe they’ll be naked with a leather collar. And if it’s somebody that really needs to be restrained and taught a lesson, I’ll put them in a body bag.

YS: Have you done that before?
MA: Absolutely.

YS: And what’s that like?
MA: It’s really fun. It’s visually stimulating to see someone in a leather body bag. They really just become a slave. It changes the dynamic.

YS: Have you ever had anyone refuse to go in the body bag?
MA: I’m really good at getting people to at least try. And I’m fair: If someone tries it and I can tell they’re really freaking out, like physically freaking out and not prematurely freaking out then I’ll stop and we can compromise.

YS: So whips and chains?
MA: I love the riding crop, like the ones equestrians use. I think it’s beautiful.  Plus, the nice thing about the riding crop is that it’s small so you can use it on a lot of different body parts. A really big flogger will cover a lot of space but the riding crop is small, so if you just want to hit the tip of some guy’s dick then it will hit exactly where it should. And it doesn’t leaves marks as easily as a single tailed whip. Chains are in the dungeon, but I don’t bring them around town.

YS: What about handcuffs?
MA: Handcuffs can be uncomfortable; they can leave a mark. I like to use rope more than handcuffs. I like the act of tying a person up. And I can do a lot more with the rope.

YS: How big is your collection of paraphernalia?
MA: I’d say I have a decent collection of dildos. Otherwise the stuff isn’t that large because I rent from dungeons, and they supply. I very much like wearing a dildo. This is kind of the role reversal. I’m the one wearing the cock and the man is now the one on his knees, sucking on my cock. I like to have different sizes, shapes, and colors and all that. The largest one I have is pretty big. We call it “The Mondo.” It’s about 11 inches and really fat.

YS: So is there any sex involved?
MA: There’s a lot of sensuality and there’s a lot of fantasy. But I’ve never had sex with client.

YS: So how old were you when you realized you had all of these fetishes?
MA: I was probably 8 years old. I used to do things like use jelly bracelets to tie my wrists together and jump in the deep end of the swimming pool and swim to the other side as a way of restraining myself. Just feeling fear and then overcoming it really rang true to me. I didn’t know what it was about back then.

YS: Have you read 50 Shades of Grey?
MA: I got through to the last 50 pages and I couldn’t finish it. I had had enough.  I understand why it’s popular, but it was just a lot of light sex scenes. It felt very much like erotica; I wasn’t getting much from it. Also I’m more about a female dominant, and that book is all about a male dominant. A lot of people in the industry have a lot of animosity toward it though. People in a secret world always want to think that nobody else can touch that world. But I am going to see the movie.

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