A First Person Explanation of What It Means To Be Trans
Torraine is a trans artist and writer currently working as a fashion intern at Yahoo Style. Here, she reacts to the global conversation about transgender people prompted by Diane Sawyer’s recent interview with Bruce Jenner and the misconceptions surrounding the topic.
By now, you have all have seen or at least heard about Bruce Jenner’s groundbreaking interview with Diane Sawyer. I say groundbreaking because despite however you might feel about the Kardashian/Jenner clan, as far as trans visibility goes, you couldn’t have asked for a better platform. Roughly 17 million people tuned into the 20/20 special and to paraphrase Bruce, after eight years of starring on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the family finally has something real to talk about.
The very public interview came at just the right time. Over the past year, trans humanization has been a prominent topic in the media, starting with Time’s now iconic cover featuring Laverne Cox of Orange Is The New Black with the tagline “The Transgender Tipping Point.” We’re now at a pivotal point in western history where the world is finally beginning to see us as people and not just punch lines. It’s quite possible that Jenner finally felt comfortable enough to come out as trans at 65 because they also sensed that the tides are turning. I’m not saying by any means that trans people have “made it,” but at least now it’s politically incorrect to be intentionally transphobic. With the current fascination with transness, I think it’s great that you’re talking about us, but do you actually understand us?
Note: Jenner told ABC producers “he/him” pronouns were okay for the interview, but often referred to themself with “she/her” pronouns. Because of ambiguity, I refer to Jenner with gender-neutral “they/them” pronouns.
At one point during the program, Sawyer brings up the concern that many people had which was that the Jenner profile would undo all of the great strides that trans people have made recently. I must admit that I was part of that camp. The manner in which trans people have been reported on in the past, and the trans witch hunt that Jenner had endured prior to the interview was cause for concern. Additionally, and let’s be honest here, the Kardashian/Jenners treat their personal matters like currency! It had all the signs of a possible train wreck. In the hours leading up to the interview, I was overcome with anxiety as if my life on the line, and in a sense it was. Despite the fact that they didn’t ask for it, Jenner was about to become the most visible face of the transgender rights movement. A lot of pressure to put on a reality TV star, right?
Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised by how tastefully and comprehensively ABC handled this delicate topic. And I was even more surprised by the overwhelming support and positive messages on social media. It really did feel like an important moment in history.
That said, it is also important to understand that Bruce’s story is very specific and doesn’t reflect the experience of many trans people. No doubt, being a famous figure who’s transitioning under the gaze of millions of scrutinizing eyes is incredibly difficult. But, on the other hand, being able to afford healthcare and gender affirming surgery is certainly a privilege.
In no way am I devaluing Jenner’s story, but there is a broader perspective to consider. Moving forward when talking about trans people, you can’t default to Jenner’s story as your only source of information. Here are a few things I feel need clarification.
1. Pronouns Are Personal.
In the early stages of the trans witch hunt, journalists were frustrated that Jenner had yet to make a statement, so they just decided on their own that Jenner identified as a woman. That was certainly problematic, but what was more troubling was that even though they had made this assumption, all the outlets continued to use “he/him” pronouns when referring to Jenner. During the special, Sawyer stresses the importance of honoring a person’s preferred pronouns and then goes on to say, for the sake of familiarity in the interview, Jenner would accept “he/him” in this instance.
While I respect everyone’s right to self-define, this allowance inadvertently sent out a mixed message. It supports the “extreme makeover” narrative that transition is just a series of cosmetic changes and once those are completed, only then is it okay to use pronouns that align with that person’s gender identity. No trans person should feel the need to look a certain way for the world to respect their preferred pronouns. Transition begins when a person can acknowledge and accept their own truth.
Unlike Jenner, most trans people go through a period of “social transition” before they decide to take medical or surgical steps (if they decide to at all, assuming they have the access to do so). This consists of coming out to loved ones and requesting different pronouns if applicable. It’s the same way cisgender females feel female way before they grow breasts, and cisgender males feel male before their voice deepens.
2. Do Not Assume Gender Based on Clothing.
If you meet or are writing about someone and you’re unsure of their preferred pronouns, the most appropriate thing to do is to use the neutral “they/their” or just use the person’s name. Do not assume based on something like clothing. (We all know what happens when people assume!) Refer to gender-neutral language until informed otherwise.
3. “LGBT” Is Not Properly Representative of Trans People.
For as long as I’ve been alive, trans people have been lumped into the LGBT acronym that doesn’t properly represent us. LBGT stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, and Transgender, but the “T” is the only letter that doesn’t refer to sexual attraction. The close association of these groups has assisted in the common fallacy that all trans people are homosexuals who “took it too far.” How many times did Jenner reiterate that gender and sexual preference have nothing to do with each other?
“Sexuality is who you are personally attracted to, what turns you on,” said Jenner. “But gender identity is how to deal with who you are as a person and your soul and who you identify with inside.”
I’m personally tired of people assuming because I’m of transfeminine experience, that I must be attracted to men. It makes me feel that the people making this assumption view me as a gay man. I am not a gay man. Just as there are cisgender people who are gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, queer, asexual etc. the same is true of trans people.
4. Trans People Are Not Cross-Dressers.
Related to the “extremely gay person” misconception is the one that trans people are drag queens/kings, crossdressers, or “gender benders.” It’s astonishing how many well-meaning cisgender people think trans people go home at night and become a completely different person! Word to the wise: we don’t spend our entire day in costume and then change as soon as we go home, Mr. Rogers style. So when media outlets do something like post an ancient photo of Jenner and other perceived cisgender males dressed in drag for a comedy sketch, it’s extremely cheap and offensive. The rule of thumb is that using drag outside of the context of an actual drag show is always going to be offensive.
5. Look Beyond The Binary.
Another issue I’ve noticed in countless think pieces about Jenner’s gender is that most of them are written by cisgender people and dripping with binarism. This duality—good or evil, win or lose, woman or man—is an easy way to categorize things, but it is important to understand that there is no singular narrative when it comes to trans people. And not every person identifies as man or woman. The Google definition accurately describes the word ‘transgender’ as an umbrella term, “denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional notions of male or female gender.”
Variations include people who are genderqueer (the feeling that one is not completely male or female), genderfluid (a person oscillates between maleness and femaleness), and agender (aka the complete absence of gender) among many others.
Genderqueer trans activist Jacob Tobia is the perfect example of how the whole “assume gendered pronouns based on appearance” strategy implodes on itself. A person with facial hair and also wearing a dress doesn’t fit into our established construct around gender expression. Be aware of non-binary genders before you use phrases like “opposite gender” or “both men and women.”
In short, Jenner’s words don’t reflect every trans experience or even most trans experiences, but that’s okay. They don't need to. At least the conversation is taking place. I hope these clarifications will at least give people a better understanding of how to talk about trans lives in the future.
Related: Cheers to Bruce Jenner for Proving It’s Never Too Late to Be Yourself
Related: Trans Teen Jazz Jennings Becoming Clean & Clear’s New Face Is More Important Than You’d Think
