Are Extreme Beauty Treatments Worth the Hefty Price?
Recently a friend confessed that she had tried out Baby Foot, a popular Asian peel that promises to make your feet feel like the skin of a newborn. She stepped into the chemical-filled booties and left it on for an hour, as instructed. Days passed and nothing happened. Then one day she was walking and heard a thumping sound in her boot. She sat down and took it off. Inches of her heel had peeled off. She showed me the disturbing pictures— obviously I ordered some the very next morning.
We live in an era of weird, exotic, and expensive beauty treatments. Is it the lure of strange ingredients like starfish or snails? Is it the pressure of looking good in a world of no-makeup selfies? Or is it just the case of major First World problems that we think nothing of shelling out major cash just for a bit of novelty? Regardless of the reasoning, I’ve road tested some of the strangest beauty treatments money can currently buy.
Recently, Skin Gym Face Fitness opened up a popup shop in New York which offers a face workout ($50 for 30 minutes). The workout features a facial massage and then “interval training” which involves tightening all the muscles in your face, or furrowing your brow while a person pushes in the other direction. The massage is great and while the exercises feel more than a little ridiculous, they do perk you up. Even though I was born with a bit of a weak jawline and neck— courtesy of my maternal grandmother— and they assured me that regular visits could tighten the area, I don’t think I’d invest.
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We’ve covered the vajaycial in all its steamy glory. So why neglect your butt? The Brooklyn salon Skin by Molly offers a “Shiny Hiney” facial for $85 that promises to “get your rears in gear for swimsuit season, a honeymoon or just to feel good!” It’s a 30-minute exfoliating treatment that concentrates on the butt and upper thighs. I’m sure your rear will emerge looking better than ever, but will it #breaktheinternet? Doubt it.
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Dr. Shirley Madhère, a New York- based plastic surgeon, offers the Vitaglow treatment, which consists of microinjections (needles are involved) filled with vitamins and antioxidants starting at $750 a pop. It’s topped off with a rose oil and turmeric face mask. Did my skin look flawless for a few days after? Sure! Flawless enough that I would pay spend my rent money to pay for a series of treatments? No thanks.
At the New York salon B Spa Bar, you can get standard treatments like an “Organic Seaweed Collagen Mask” ($58), but you can also opt for one of their custom couture versions. For $348 dollars, you can be slathered in Apple Stem Cells, DNA Caviar, Idebenone, Coffeeberry, Placenta, Snail Extracts, Phytonutrients and Probiotics and then finished off with red and blue laser light treatment. I’m not sure what any of it does but I’m intrigued.
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Yakson House, a Korean-based company with locations all over Asia as well as New York and Los Angeles, promises to reshape your face through massage— whether your mug is asymmetrical, or as the website says you suffer from “Big Face.” One session will set you back $250, and if that doesn’t hurt enough, the website also says, “it has been proven statistically that those with unbalanced faces tend to leave poor impressions on others.” Pass.
