How to Avoid Insta-Envy of the 'Wealfie'

Alessandra Ambrosio in Floripa. Photo: @alessandraofficial/Instagram

I’m not a very jealous person. I think that’s because, for the most part, I’m happy with my lot in life. I’m a writer living in New York. I married a cute, smart-ass of a guy who is actually really nice. My dog is adorable. #Grateful.

But I’m also a flawed human being, which means sometimes all that wonderful stuff isn’t enough to stop me from turning envy green over the public announcements of my peers, casual acquaintances, and absolute strangers.

This holiday season has been particularly bad if you’re the type to go down a social media wormhole. The holidays fell in the middle of the week this year so most salaried folks were out of the office for over two weeks. That equals Facebook pages covered in photos of Baby’s First Christmases and engagement rings, Twitter streams crowded with bored internet addicts obsessing over the end of Serial https://www.vulture.com/2014/12/lets-talk-about-the-end-of-serial.html, and Instagram feeds filled with photos of Mumbai, St Barts, the Swiss Alps and Tulum, Mexico, which is currently hosting more fashion-industry people than New York Fashion Week attracts.

Kendall Jenner, Gigi Hadid, Selena Gomez & more in Dubai. Photo: @kendalljenne?r/Instagram

Every Tulum selfie could also be categorized as the “wealfie”, the word entrepreneur Richard Kirshenbaum defines as, “selfies taken in a luxury context that confirm one has money, status and social currency.” NY Times writer Ginia Bellafante notes that, “there can be little dispute that December is the season of the wealfie, in the broadest, most metaphoric terms. The paradigmatic wealfie is the image you take of yourself getting on or off a private jet, possibly on your way to New Year’s Eve in Morocco or Anguilla.” Or Dubai if you’re Kendall Jenner.

So much of the last half-decade has been about discretion that these displays of privilege feel wrong in many ways. Yet they’re socially acceptable because you’re not bragging to an actual someone, just to your phone. You don’t have to see the uncomfortable look on your friend’s face when you tell her your husband has organized a trip to St Barts for New Year’s. She’s going to “like” your Instagram post taken on a yacht in crystal blue waters whether she’s truly happy for you or not.

Christie Brinkley’s children in Turks and Caicos. Photo: @christiebrinkley?/Instagram

But even if you are one of the fortunate wealfie-takers, it’s hard not to drown in the negative feelings that social-media immersion can bring. A friend of mine who is in a loving relationship but not yet engaged recently quit Facebook. Why? Because she was sick of the engagement announcements crowding her page. Every new post made her think, “Why not me?” Comparing yourself to others accomplishes pretty much nothing. It’s no surprise that she’s loving her Facebook-less life.

If you find yourself getting sad over the happy posts of others, here’s some advice. Stay away. Quitting altogether might not be a viable option, but you can mute overly chatty people on Twitter, unfollow Instagram braggarts, and clean up your Facebook friend feed. My strategy – year round, not just during the holidays – is to avoid people who are going to make me feel bad about myself. That includes those whom I’ve met in real life and have disliked, those who I like very much but post incessantly, and those whose lives make me feel shitty about my own.

This plan is not failsafe. But the best defense, when it comes to Insta-envy, is an offense. Stay away from the avatars that’ll make you pout, and enjoy what’s going on around you instead.

Caroline de Maigret in Marrakech, Morocco. Photo: @carolinedemaigret/Instagram