What Happens When a Normal Guy Dares to Dress Like Harry Styles?

By: Frank Kobola and Charles Manning

Photo Credit: Getty Images

I don’t know much about One Direction. I know they are a boy band from England. I only know the full name of one band member: Harry Styles. I know he dresses in the same androgynous, rock-star chic clothing Mick Jagger and David Bowie were huge fans of. I know, in my heart, that there is no way any of that shit is comfortable. For some reason, Cosmopolitan.com fashion editor Charles Manning challenged me to prove that hypothesis right.

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Photo Credit: Getty/Kathleen Kamphausen

Black Skinny Suit Jacket, ASOS, $114; Black Skinny Jeans, TOPMAN, $40; White Ruffle Shirt, ASOS, $48; Black Ankle Boots, T.J. MAXX

Here’s a fun fact for Harry Styles fans: if you’re ever curious where Harry Styles’s penis is at any given time, it’s pressed firmly against his taint. I guarantee you that’s where it is. If you look up at the moon and wonder if Harry is staring at that same moon, right at that moment, he may or may not be, but his penis is definitely all up in his business. All of his clothes are crazy tight and there is no other way to wear them.

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That said, other than being a size too small, this outfit isn’t too bad. I think the ruffled shirt is a little too much unless you’re going to prom, and even then you might get made fun of.

Photo Credit: Getty/Kathleen Kamphausen

Black Wool Coat, H&M, $129; Leopard Robe, H&M, $25; Black Skinny Jeans, TOPMAN, $40;Leather Chelsea Boots, ASOS, $114; Temporary Tattoos, TATTLY

All right, you need a lot of rock star swag to pull off animal prints. I don’t have any swag. Sometimes I still eat Lucky Charms cereal. For dinner. There is no way someone who includes kids cereal as a staple of his diet can pull off leopard shirts and tight jeans.

Photo Credit: Getty/Kathleen Kamphausen

Navy Printed Button Down, H&M, $15; Black Skinny Jeans, TOPMAN, $40; Leather Chelsea Boots, ASOS, $114

To be clear, I have nothing against Harry Styles’s fashion sense. The dude pulls it off (and I definitely don’t). But everything is so restrictive. If Harry Styles ever finds himself in a knife fight or confronted by a bear or challenged to a foot race or even asked to just sit down, he’s basically screwed. These are not clothes for moving around in.Read More.

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