Does The Heart Want What It Wants? Selena Gomez Might Be Onto Something
On Thursday, Selena Gomez released her new song “The Heart Wants What It Wants,” which doesn’t take more than one listen, maybe even less than that, to realize that it’s an obvious nod to her on-again off-again relationship with Justin Bieber.
“I know him and I know his heart and I know what he wouldn’t do to hurt me,” the 22-year-old says in the interlude to her music video. “But I didn’t realize that I would feeling so confident, feeling so great about myself and then it just be completely shattered by one thing. By something so stupid. But then you make me feel crazy, make me feel like it’s my fault. I was in pain.”
The emotional video and revealing lyrics seem to hint at what a lot of others feel in their relationships: when the heart says one thing and the head is telling you something else, which do you listen to? To get to the bottom of whether the “heart wants what the heart wants” is valid, Yahoo Style consulted relationship expert Samantha Daniels for some answers.
You got me sippin’ on something / I can’t compare to nothing / I’ve ever known, I’m hoping / That after this fever I’ll survive / I know I’m acting a bit crazy / Strung out, a little bit hazy / Hand over heart, I’m praying / That I’m gonna make it out alive
“I think that chemistry is intangible and so when you meet someone or when you’re falling for someone, chemistry is pulling you towards them,” the founder of Samantha’s Table Matchmaking says. She explains that while intuitively or intellectually one might know or think that a significant other isn’t the perfect match, but there’s an indescribable connection. “I think that if you feel chemistry with someone of course you can give it a shot and see because that’s an important part of a relationship” but Daniel warns that if the chemical pull is the only thing between two people, it’s important to be wary. For two people to be able to get along and have a strong partnership there has to be more than just a strong attraction.
The bed’s getting cold and you’re not here / The future that we hold is so unclear / But I’m not alive until you call / And I’ll bet the odds against it all / Save your advice ‘cause I won’t hear / You might be right but I don’t care / There’s a million reasons why I should give you up / But the heart wants what it wants
Just like Gomez and her are they or aren’t they together sometimes boyfriend pop singer Justin Bieber, many people have romantic relationships that keep them coming back to each other even after multiple breakups and makeups. Daniel says that if a couple is considering reconciliation they should both accept each other’s faults and recognize that leopards can’t change their spots. “Not everybody is meant to be together so sometimes you can love someone and you can almost be obsessed with him or her but they’re not the correct life partner”
Daniel says that when people are younger they’re not as concentrated on the life partner aspect so they tend to pay more attention to the heart element over what the head is saying. But as you get older, and start seeing things in a more serious light, it’s important to listen to directions from both, it has to be a combination.