'I embraced the soft life trend and quit my career at 25'
When Eve Bokor was 25, she found herself burnt out and unsure of what she wanted from life. So she quit her job and embraced the 'soft life' trend instead.
Believed to have originated from within the Nigerian influencer community, the idea of soft living has become more widespread in recent months, as more Brits aim to slow down.
The hashtag #softlife has over a billion views on TikTok, while #softliving has 27.5 million. Meanwhile research by Samsung revealed that more than 80% of people in the UK are interested in soft living, citing reasons such as struggling to relax and wanting to prioritise their mental health for wanting to give it a go.
After going to university and starting her career in teaching, Bokor, now 27, said she realised that the job ladder wasn't for her, and now doesn't feel pressured about hitting any 'milestones' such as being in a relationship, buying a house, or having investments.
"It was external pressures. I don’t need those things to be happy," she explains. "I want a relationship and a house and they will happen at some point. I'm on my own timeline. I genuinely like myself. I like where I'm at in my life."
Bokor, from Leeds, currently lives with her dad, and now works in an admin role - but says letting go of the pressure to achieve certain things has been "freeing".
"I don’t feel embarrassed about it," she adds. "I feel proud. Be kind and compassionate to yourself. It will all work out. You are good enough."
What is the 'soft life' trend?
Soft living is about taking time to relax, looking after yourself, and putting your mental health and wellbeing first.
Urban Dictionary defines it as “the opposite of hard life, where you make decisions that leave you feeling stress-free and vibrating higher”.
It is essentially about purposely creating a lifestyle with minimal stress and setting boundaries, and unapologetically putting yourself first.
"The soft living trend emphasises a slower, more deliberate approach to life, focusing on mindfulness, simplicity, and being present in the moment," explains Dr. Becky Spelman, psychologist and founder at Private Therapy Clinic. "It encourages individuals to prioritise self-care, relaxation, and a balanced lifestyle."
People who participate in this way of living will likely prioritise going for walks, listening to music, and reading. “Soft lifers” will also aim to follow a healthy diet and cut back on alcohol.
Dr. Spelman believes the rise of the soft living trend on TikTok can be attributed to several factors including wanting to counter the fast-paced modern lifestyle.
"Many people feel overwhelmed by the constant busyness, stress, and information overload of modern life," she explains. "Soft living offers a counterbalance to this by promoting a more mindful and intentional way of living."
The strive to improve our wellbeing is another factor contributing to the interest in the soft living movement.
"Soft living appeals to those who desire a greater sense of wellbeing, balance, and fulfilment," Dr Spelman explains. "It encourages people to prioritise self-care, mental health, and meaningful experiences over constant productivity and external pressures."
Experts also believe a desire for a greater connection to nature and sustainability also plays a role in the surge in soft living TikTok posts, as they trend often
"This resonates with individuals who are increasingly concerned about environmental issues and seeking a more harmonious relationship with the natural world," Dr Spelman adds.
Benefits of slow living can include reduced stress levels, increased mindfulness and self-awareness, improved mental well-being, enhanced relationships, and a greater appreciation for the present moment.
"However, it's important to note that soft living is a personal choice and may not be suitable for everyone," Dr. Spelman warns. "Some people may find it challenging to slow down due to work or personal circumstances."
How to take part in the soft living movement
1. Practice mindfulness
Take time each day to be fully present in the moment. "Engage in activities with full awareness, whether it's eating, walking, or simply sitting quietly," Dr Spelman advises.
2. Simplify your schedule
Evaluate your commitments and prioritise the activities that truly matter to you. "Learn to say no to excessive demands and create space for relaxation and self-care," Dr Spelman adds.
3. Disconnect from technology
Dr Spelman recommends allocating time to disconnect from screens and embracing activities that promote relaxation and reflection, such as reading, journaling, or spending time in nature.
4. Introduce slow rituals
By incorporating activities that promote relaxation and self-care into your routine. Dr Spelman recommends taking long baths, practicing yoga or meditation, or enjoying a cup of tea or coffee mindfully.
5. Engage with nature
Spend time outdoors, whether it's going for walks in nature, gardening, or simply sitting in a park. "Connecting with nature can have a calming and grounding effect," Dr Spelman adds.
Additional reporting by SWNS.
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