‘Curb’ Binge: 10 Times That Larry David Was The Absolute Worst
Let the kvetching commence! After a five-year break, Larry David is dusting off his fictional self for a ninth season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO’s hilarious celebration of celebrities behaving badly. Well, okay… one specific celebrity anyway. The unending appeal of Curb is that it allows Larry David to show over and over again why “Larry David” is the worst human being alive. Blissfully unaware of societal niceties and actively eager to piss people off, David’s alter ego routinely cuts a swath of destruction through polite civilization. And we’re sure that he’s only going to return from his hiatus more ornery than ever. While we wait to see what trouble Larry gets up to in Season 9, here are 10 examples from the show’s previous eight seasons, which are streaming on HBO Go and Amazon Prime, where Larry David was literally the worst.
“The Group” (Season 1, Episode 10)
Escorting an ex-girlfriend to a meeting of her incest survivors’ group is already questionable behavior. But arguing with her about whether or not abuse committed by a stepfather really qualifies as incest? That hits a whole other level of wrongness. Pro tip: it’s also not a good idea to invent an alias and blame your uncle for molesting you. Unless you’re hoping to never be invited over for Shabbat dinner again.
“Trick or Treat” (Season 2, Episode 3)
Speaking of Shabbat, Larry has a special ability to repeatedly annoy and offend his Jewish brethren. Case in point: whistling noted anti-Semite Wagner moments before going in to a movie premiere. Accused of being a self-loathing Jew, Larry responds without a trace of that famous Jewish guilt complex: “I do hate myself, but it has nothing to do with being Jewish!”
“The Special Section” (Season 3, Episode 6)
Larry misses his mother’s funeral because he’s off shooting a big movie in New York with Martin Scorsese. But that’s not the reason he’s the worst; after all, his father didn’t exactly clue him into Mom’s passing at her own request. Larry being Larry, of course, he turns this tragic event to his own advantage, using his mother’s corpse to dodge social commitments. At least he does one nice thing for the woman who birthed him — moving her remains out of the cemetery’s “special section.”
“The Survivor” (Season 4, Episode 9)
Few people can boast to sparking an argument between a Holocaust survivor and Survivor survivor Colby Donaldson about which of them had the more challenging time… um, surviving. That’s the cringe-inducing game of one-upmanship that Larry initiates when he misunderstands the guest list for his rabbi’s dinner party. C’mon, Larry! Both of those survivors deserve better!
“The End” (Season 5, Episode 10)
Let’s be real: a heavenly existence was probably never in the cards for Larry. Still, the fact that he got booted out of Paradise for picking a fight with his literal better angels is a clear indicator that he’s the worst person you’ll meet in this life, as well as the next.
“The Ida Funkhouser Roadside Memorial” (Season 6, Episode 3)
What is it with Larry David and dead mothers? When Marty Funkhouser’s mom passes away, Larry shows his sympathy by swiping flowers from her memorial and awarding them to his two “favorite girls,” Cheryl and Loretta. “I can’t believe a human being would do that,” Marty says to Larry, not realizing (yet) that he’s talking to the one human being that would.
“The N Word” (Season 6, Episode 8)
Larry makes the boneheaded mistake of dropping the N-bomb while telling a story about another guy who deliberately dropped the N-bomb. We have to invoke another N word for that: Nincompoop.
“The Bare Midriff” (Season 7, Episode 6)
Incorrectly assuming it’s acceptable for him to dole out fashion advice to female co-workers, Larry suggests that his assistant “cover up” her bared stomach area. Dude, you’re not Tim Gunn; keep your clothing suggestions limited to your own wardrobe.
“Palestinian Chicken” (Season 8, Episode 3)
Larry brings the Israeli/Palestinian conflict to American shores by forcibly doffing Marty’s yarmulke while lunching in the titular chicken joint. He’s just doing it for a laugh, but the Palestinian proprietors take it seriously, and Larry doesn’t do a lot to dissuade them from treating him as a hero since he has his eye on one comely female employee. Sex before religion — that’s Larry’s motto.
“Larry vs. Michael J. Fox” (Season 8, Episode 10)
Larry David may have created one of the all-time great New York sitcoms, but he’s persona non grata in the city after his repeated run-ins with Michael J. Fox. Naturally Larry, who always thinks the worst of people, believes Fox is using his Parkinson’s as an excuse to harass him. Then-mayor Michael Bloomberg himself exiles Larry from the five boroughs after David mimes a disrespectful gesture during Fox’s speech at a fundraiser. We’ve got enough bad apples in the Big Apple — we don’t need a rotten one.
All eight seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm are streaming on HBO Go and Amazon Prime.
