The Worst TV Shows of 2016
Having chosen the best in drama and comedy, I am now required to go negative and pick the worst TV shows of 2016. Because there is so much bad TV, I set myself some parameters. First, I limited myself to series, not just one-time events. Second, I chose lousy shows that had a certain amount of prominence — I mean, what’s the point of saying that Of Kings and Prophets stank if most people never even saw it? Third, no reality TV, because I watch so little of that junk, how could I fairly measure which was more awful — Rob & Chyna, for example, or Wahlburgers? Fourth, no TV news here: I’ll deal with some of that mess tomorrow, in a Worst Moments list. With all that in mind, the following list is in alphabetical order of awfulness.
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Bordertown (Fox) This floperoo from executive producer Seth MacFarlane tried to have some fun with immigration issues by setting the animated series in the (fictitious) Mexifornia, but mirthless jokes and the usual cynical point of view that extends from Family Guy to this show doomed it to irrelevance.
Chelsea (Netflix) Amid all the complaints that too few women are hosting talk shows, Chelsea Handler was handed one by Netflix. It’s an embarrassing, self-indulgent bore, never more so than when Handler tries to interact with “ordinary people” and her sense of star entitlement can’t help but be revealed.
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Conviction (ABC) The ratings failure of Agent Carter should have tipped off ABC that it was time to stop trying to make Hayley Atwell a TV star. This was one of a couple of shows ABC conceived to be hits in the style of a Shonda Rhimes show without any involvement by Rhimes, and as such, Notorious could also be on this list.
Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders (CBS) The most successful soulless crime drama currently on the air tried to franchise itself by setting up this spinoff, featuring crimes and serial killers overseas. The cultural disconnects were embarrassing.
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Feed the Beast (AMC) David Schwimmer played a guy with a gift for picking fine wines who teamed up with a pal who’s a cool-dude chef; together, they tried to open a restaurant in the Bronx. As dour and monotone as Schwimmer’s facial expression and voice, the show was indigestible.
Fuller House (Netflix) The original show — a “TGIF” stalwart on ABC in the 1980s — had a certain clumsy charm. This nostalgia-bait revival is now in a second season on Netflix, and it does largely without key stars Bob Saget, Dave Coulier, and John Stamos. But that’s not the biggest problem: The extremely poor writing makes every joke fall flat.
Heartbeat (NBC) Yet another show that makes you wonder how it ever got past the pilot stage. This one showcased an ostentatiously egotistical surgeon (Melissa George) striding down hospital corridors, barking orders while also demanding recognition for how self-sacrificing and alluring she is. This character wasn’t the least likable new fall creation (see Pure Genius, below), but she came close.
Pure Genius (CBS) As thorough a misread of the American public in 2016 as possible. At a time when regular folks will tell you they don’t like big-city arrogance and know-it-all braininess, this show gave us James Bell (Augustus Prew), a Silicon Valley billionaire who decided to cure the world’s medical ills, with the help of a doctor played by Dermot Mulroney, whose miserable expression pretty much summed up the mood of anyone watching this show.
Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO) With every week, Maher’s winking smarm, his smug smirk, and his mediocre standup-comedian chops made him, more and more, the political humorist to avoid for any possible campaign-season laughs or political critique. There were times when even his three-person guest panels just stared rather than try to fake a laugh.
Roadies (Showtime) and Vinyl (HBO) I’m combining these two premium cable series as double examples of how not to portray the music industry in a weekly TV show. Loaded with huge talent in front of and behind the scenes — Martin Scorsese! Cameron Crowe! Mick Jagger! Carla Gugino! Bobby Cannavale! Olivia Wilde! James Jagger! (well, maybe not James Jagger) — they succeeded only in making great old rock sound like a death rattle.
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